An elegy to city temps, intrusive thoughts & honestly just ugly guys: Holy moly!

I still check the temperature outside knowing good and well that you were never nice.

I think I check because at least if my days bad, at least yours might be sunny and rad.

I double tap the phone

oh so kindly. no new notifications

why do I even attempt to

accomplish my

ritualistic tendency

to see if im

being responded to

by the one I miss so

truly.

but then I remember it’s never enough

so I draw away my eyes blindly.

why is the world

an everlasting

dying.

you see

you were

the typical

howdy do da-

and I was the ever so

constantly—abiding

ever-so-gliding

one-of-the-highest

forms of

anxieties.

blocked from a whole

world I was adapted too

oh the pain it took

to feel a little

over you.

although I always wished

you peace,

in the back of mind

I’d always wonder if

you truly earned

it.

Not that you deserve it an any way but just for the world to be a little more perfect.

I know I’m supposed to be mad as hell but I just want to be happy .

god knows how much I miss

the old constant

and that’s a fact

truly.

Because as much as you destroyed me I still wish for your bad days to bring you glory.

Oh how I wish I could hate you for how you tried your hardest to let the earth swallow me wholly.

heres to concentration not so holy.

being left on delivered makes me feel like im unholy of

existence.

when all truly, I just get attached way to

surely.

I refuse to let a boy define me.

Did you ever even care if I spend my days wanting to not exist?

Now that I think about it,

Of course this is all

~exaggeration~

Maybe-

But When you left

a big hole formed

in the middle and upper parts of my chest

and no matter how much I try

to rest I’m reminded by the

empty nest of memory

That might ultimately

Lead to my

Demise.

I’m totally kidding-

you are a boy

and you are yours

truly.

im for sure of one

thing